16 Weeks

Tomorrow is Baby Madzar & I's 16 Week Anniversary.  (Applause.)

We had a doctor's appointment last week. 
I've gained 6 pounds so far. 
I'm assuming that's alright since no one told me to start cutting back on Wendy's Natural-Cut Fries.
(My new obsession.)
Baby Madzar's check-up was quick this time.
We were listening for the heartbeat and the doctor found it within seconds.
160 beats per minute.
Swirling, pumping static has never sounded so good.

Dr. Pierson said I should feel Little Madzar's kicks and movement in the next month.
Now I'm all alert.
Sometimes when no one's looking, I'll poke my protruding tummy.
Always hoping for a poke back.
But nothing yet.
All in due time.

Joe purchased wood last week to start his workings on the nursery.
In just the first night, it was already looking so good.
All of the paper sketches he's been showing me for weeks were coming to fruition.
I was finally able to see what he had been envisioning this whole time.
Nothing less than perfect, I might add.

I'm sort of starting to feel like myself again.
A real person if you will.
Although I still tire very easily, I'm going out with friends again.
I'm shopping again.
Running errands again.
Baby Madzar leads the way but I'm not far behind.

One last thing.
Mark your calendars for August 17.
Fingers crossed, that's when Baby Madzar becomes a he or she for us.
We'll know whether to buy the pink or blue triathlon gear.
And Mama Mel can finally start to pick out some fabric for the nursery. 

Boy or girl, Baby Madzar will hopefully never experience a bad perm like seen above.

Grace

It was another of my evenings with Robin & Ella.  These are always some of my favorite evenings.  Robin always makes a very fresh, very delightful dinnertime meal.  Ella always says something that I have to tell to Joe as soon as I get home that night no matter the time.  I help Ella with her before-bed duties and then there's story time and a nice, big kiss from Ella with a, "Good Night Aunt Mel, Love You."  And then the evening is capped off with Robin & I talking away like Chatty Cathy's on the couch until we can't hold our eyes open any longer.  Being a part of the Riggs' family is the perfect ending to a day, in my opinion.

I had just walked in the back door for another fun-filled evening in the Riggs' household.  As usual, Ella came running from around the corner with open arms.   She suddenly stopped and looked at me and exclaimed, "I"M GOING TO BE A BIG SISTER!"  My heart immediately filled with joy.  As I looked into Ella's big blues I could tell she was requesting a response from me ASAP.  I reached over and gave her a big hug and shrilled with excitement attempting to match hers.  My eyes instantly searched for Robin in the kitchen and saw her smiling.  Putting Ella down, all I wanted to do was give one of my best friends the warmest of hugs.  She was bringing another life into the world and I was the happiest Aunt Mel in the world.

Last Sunday as I held Baby Grace in my arms for the first time and felt her warm on my chest, I remembered this night seven months earlier.  I then reminisced about the day when Ella was born and all of the unforgettable moments we've had together in the past three years.  I thought about Robin and how much I value our friendship and the laughter we share.  I flashed back to the night when John D (Robin's husband) thanked me for being a constant in their lives when really I knew I should have been thanking them for being such a huge part in mine.  All of the memories I have with Robin, Ella, & JD are only good ones.  And sitting there with Grace, I knew she was going to experience the same steadfast, undying, pure love I had always received from this family.  Grace couldn't have asked for a better home on this earth.  There's no doubt in my mind.

I fast-forwarded a few years in my head.  I pictured Baby Madzar and myself coming home to Papa Joe from an evening with my favorite girls.  Laughing, I say, "Ella said the cutest thing..."  Joe starts laughing along with me.  I then add in, "And then Grace said ..."

That will be a good day.

Grace McRae Riggs with big sis, Ella.

An Angel

The official start of my pregnancy is April 4, 2011.  Exactly 40 weeks from then is January 9, 2012.  This would be Baby Madzar's arrival date by means of a perfect 10 month pregnancy.  However, all you moms out there know this due date changes all the time.  Mainly because the size of baby has influence on when baby will arrive.  I guess some turkeys cook faster or slower than others.

For the the first ultrasound, Joe & I had a blast.  Remember when I was the sleeping lioness who had just awoken from her slumber?  Yeah, that was fun.  After Dr. Robison left the room and Joe & I were left there looking at pictures of our first child, I suddenly noted the new due date based on Baby Madzar's growing size.  It was now January 5 ... Joe's godmother's birthday.

I whipped around and shoved the ultrasound picture in his face.  LOOK!  LOOK!  Joe knew right away ... and so did I ... Teta Joan wanted dealt in for this hand.  She was already looking out for our new, growing family and this was her way of letting us in on the secret.  Beyond Babe's amazing, earthly family and friends, there's an angel on watch, too.  That's a nice feeling.

Teta Joan & Joe on a scuba dive in Nassau, Bahamas.

Cravings

Long ago, Joe & I were playing the old 'Would You Rather' game when vegetables versus fruit came up.  Would you rather eat vegetables or fruit for the rest of your life?  I've always been a green vegetable girl, raw or cooked.  I love brussels sprouts, broccoli, salad greens, etc.  You name it, I'll eat a helping for four in one sitting.  So naturally I was pro-herbaceous plants.  Joe, on the other hand, is the complete opposite.  He's a fruit-y guy.  Apples, oranges, mangoes, bananas, etc.  He can't get enough of nature's natural sweetness.

Come this pregnancy, I've had more fruit cravings than ever before.  It's like I don't even know myself anymore.  Just this week, we made a stop at the grocery store for a dozen peaches.  It's all I could think about that day and I just had to bite into South Carolina's finest.  Fruit smoothies are another big craving for me.  If I'm within walking distance to a shop that sells them, I'm lacing my sneakers up and making the trek.  Any flavor will do.

Another crazy craving I've had this pregnancy is my lack of desire for chocolate.  Up until now I have always been the girl that had to pop a Hershey kiss after lunch.  I always opted for the most chocolate-y dessert on the menu.  Chocolate just always hit the spot for me.  I still see it now and tell myself I want it.  But when it actually hits my taste buds, the typical desired effect is less than desirable.  It's not even worth wasting the calories.

Thirdly, I now am addicted to spicy.  Now I've always thought I had quite a 'spicy' personality.  But when it came to mild salsa, I would lightly dip my tortilla chip and then down a glass of water afterward.  Heartburn soon ensued.  Now I'm popping jalapenos and pepperoncinis like it's nobody's business.  And slathering hot sauce on everything I eat.  No more chicken nuggets dipped in sweet-n-sour sauce.  Give this girl the spicy chicken sandwich ... with a side of extra spicy.

Speaking of spicy...

Unsolicited Love

I remember a little game we played at one of my bridal showers.  Everyone at the party was asked to write a bit of advice on a piece of paper for the bride-to-be about marriage life.  Things like: Never go to bed angry, Don't sweat the small stuff, and Always appreciate one another.  At the time, I had no idea that was the tip of the iceberg.  But I'm not talking about marriage.  Be advised that the advice really doesn't begin until a few years down the road when you decide to bring a new life into the world.  Then it triples.

Often seen as a negative thing, this is my little twist on unsolicited advice.  For our pregnancy and probably through the entire upbringing of all of our young-ins, I've decided to refer to those helpful hints that people tend to deal out so freely as Unsolicited Love.  You see, I know these pieces of advice/love are coming from a very good place and I think that's what counts. It's just the 'village' making sure the young of our species will do well in this world.  I'm learning to see all of the unsolicited love as a natural result of society's push to survive and people's longings to connect and share themselves with each other.  Not at all a bad thing.

The challenge comes in when, as the recipient of the unsolicited love, you feel judged instead of supported.  Joe & I are three months young into the world of BABY and have already been judged on breastfeeding (my first visit with the head nurse was greeted with a stern look followed by, 'I hope you're going to breastfeed!'), daycare (I had no idea that this was a scheme thought up by lazy parents who don't really want to raise their own children?!), and the size of our home (who knew the square footage of our house is directly proportional to how happy and healthy our baby is?!).  But we bear in the mind that we must evaluate the giver of the love.  They only see a snapshot of our lives and are judging accordingly.  Without a shadow of a doubt, we are the ones who will know our baby the best.  And we are the ones who know what's best for our family.  Our good decisions have shown us through to this point and we must remember this and feel confident.

I love free advice.  Don't get me wrong.  I want to hear about your experiences, the lessons you've learned, and what to make sure we don't miss.  Just tread lightly and walk that fine line of unsolicited love and judgment.  A pregnant woman's heart is tender.

But a father's roar is fierce...

Love

On a recent shopping excursion with my dear friend Lisa to one of our favorite beach boutiques, I purchased a simple yellow gold necklace with a disc charm that was inscribed with the word 'LOVE'.  Because frankly that's all I'm feeling these days.  I feel so much unwavering love from Joe.  I feel this warm settling energy inside which I'm taking as love from Baby Madzar.  And then there's all of our amazing friends and family who have shown so much support, so much LOVE.

There's the countless words of encouragement and advice.  It seems as though everyone is coming around us and is eager to help us in any way they can.  I guess the saying 'it takes a village' stands true.  And that village has come to our aid much earlier and much bigger than I ever expected.

I've already received boxes and boxes of maternity clothes from my mom and Lisa (dear friend mentioned above).  We have seriously been spared thousands of dollars in this department.  Then Baby Madzar already has a start on their wardrobe and book collection.  Apparently, unbeknownst to us, people have been buying us baby accessories since we got married a year ago.  And come this past Father's Day, Joe received quite an array of the sweetest Father's Day cards and gifts.  We are basically swimming in love.

Countless phone calls, emails, and packages.  Nursery furnishings. Volunteer for the christening outfit.  Future babysitters.  Beginnings of baby's college fund.  Baby shower talk commencing.  Family heirlooms being passed down to Babe.  People close to our hearts already making plans to visit us before and after the baby arrives.  Meals.  Pregnancy books.  Prayers.  Oh, and love.  Lots of LOVE.

P.S. Happy 4th of July, everyone.  Have a fun and safe weekend.  Share the Stars & Stripes LOVE.